greetings young padawan

When referencing this document, please remember that all depictions of anatomical structures are approximations of averages, and are all necessarily reductive. The aim of collected visuals and descriptions is to provide you with orientation points, and support you in navigating through your experience (-ing) and your research (-ing). Anatomy, as is embodied by you right now, is an emergent phenomenon, a material expression of your and your ancestors’ continued intra-acting with the world. It is currently evidencing results of a process that has been ongoing since the literal beginning of time.

As I started working on this document, I got excited. Excitement expanded time. Then I got sick. After a couple of days of fever, I am now deciding to share this document with you in the state that it’s in today. In the top right corner, you’ll see the date on which I’d made the most recent edit. Once the final update box is checked, the document will remain unchanged.

If anything comes up while reading this document, before the final update box is checked, like a question or a comment, send me an email! Maybe you’re curious about something we did, maybe you want more information on a certain topic. Voila, I can play this game through September. Then I’ll have to stop.

2024-08-29

i first started writing the following to add to a travel grant i was asked to hand in on behalf of a choreographer i am working for and a festival we’ll be participating at later this fall.

i like to say that my job is to make people's dreams come true.

whenever i say that sentence, i am reminded of my training; it's like something in my mind softens and i become conscious of the brilliant, relational sensitivity of my cellular existence and/or consciousness; social components of life recede in that moment, allowing bodily materiality to step into the spotlight and so transform or influence the way i can relate to others or participate in this world. it is through this process–of saying and remembering what i think my job is–that i keep becoming a dance artist.

i say 'dreams' to capture something of the range of interests and capacities i've encountered working as a dancer in the field. at one end of that range or spectrum i find something like a concern with prestige, at the other the inexplicable urge to love a seemingly random and irrelevant abstraction. a choreographer like Cristina Caprioli, whom i worked with for a better part of a decade, has required of me to hold that whole spectrum in my imaginary at 15:49h on a Tuesday afternoon as I moved along the paths determined by her materials, looking for ways to become the one who’s going to show her something that, up until that very moment, she'd only ever seen in herself.

which is where ‘truth’ becomes interesting, doesn’t it? because, of course, when talking about ‘dreams coming true’ we’re talking about something subjective, not objective and definitely not reasonable. artists, traditionally speaking, do not deal in reason. ‘reason’ is not of our lineage and was never meant to be our responsibility; we’d never have come up with ‘reason’ on our own. what artists do and have been doing, the way i understand it, was evidencing all the different ways bodies in this world are able to perceive and make sense of their environment, their experience, their relationship. artists are like gardeners of alternatives, tenders of options, committed to protecting the complexity in texture and range of what it could mean to be alive.

monday

1. opening circle;
2. sensory motor;
3. skin (sensory bodies) to muscle (muscle spindle, pressure);
4. resting in the synapse (by the end of the dive, i told them we’re approaching the end; folks rested and i told them about the synapse being the negative space of potential, something like a doorway. i’m receiving guests i’ve not met yet, i’ve prepared for vegans, vegetarians, and flexitareans. at the moment of arrival [sensory input, back of the spine] i don’t even know their names, my guests are without value. if they come in together and loudly, i’m the host. i get to ask them to slow down, to tell me their names. i get to be the regulator [the synapse]);
5. storytelling circle.

questions:

1. i felt really heavy, i felt overwhelmed: those experiences that we don’t want to rush, how do we take care of them?;
2. sensory-motor > movement to thought; i couldn’t understand what happened when my brain took over? inspired movement?
3. what is BMC®? i told them about the experimental nature of the form, the practice, and what that entails. they were very slow to move from the first circle, i got a little insecure at a certain point. i focused on my storytelling, providing them with clues and removing expectations. with music and time, the room transformed. when it transformed, the transformation was instant, the room was full of movement.

tuesday

1. opening circle;
2. images from yesterday;
3. cellular life outside of the jurisdiction of the central and peripheral nervous system;
4. cellular breathing.

questions:

1. do you think that thought can influence the production of mitochondria? the production of energy?

wednesday

1. pictures of the meninges,
2. description of the cerebrospinal fluid space;
3. hands on;
4. reflection in pairs;
5. closing.

notes:

the range of sensory motor, movement, registering difference sensorially, speaking/writing.

thursday

1. staring dance, what if where i am is what i need but it’s not about what i need, it’s about the question with storytelling support;
2. space for questions dead silent;
3. connective tissue, buckminster fuller, collagen+elastin+water;
4. hands-on experiment;
5. closing in pairs and then quartets.

friday

1. roll down;
2. holding the space to remember;
3. closing circle;
4. lyrics about wishes.

reading list:

nonfiction

Artistic Research in a World on Fire by Lucy Cotter (link)

And Then, You Act by Anne Bogart

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson

Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown (link)

The Undercommons: Fugitive Planning & Black Study by Fred Moten and Stephano Harney

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler

Meeting the Universe Halfway by Karen Barad

12 bytes by Jeanette Winterson (essays)

Staying with the Trouble by Donna Haraway

Testo Junkie by Paul B. Preciado

This Life by Martin Hägglund

Everybody by Olivia Laing

The Garden Against Time by Olivia Laing

Your Silence Will Not Protect You by Audre Lorde (essays)

The Privilege of Partial Perspective by Donna Haraway (essay, link)

Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life after Which Everything Was Different by Chuck Palahniuk

anatomy

Sensing, Feeling, and Action by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen (link) !!!

A Journey to the Centre of the Cell (essay, link)

The Feeling of What Happens by Antonio Damasio (feelings)

The Second Brain by Michael Gershon et al (“gut feeling”)

fiction

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson

Parable of the Sower + The Parable of the Talents by Octavia E. Butler

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. le Guin

Earthsea Chronicles by Ursula K. le Guin

conversations

2023 merehobbyists in Conversation (to Vimeo)

2022 The Supergiant Star Practice in Conversation (to Vimeo)

2019 sappho’s conversations (to Vimeo)

2018 The Event Horizon Practice in Conversation (to Vimeo)

2018 The Event Horizon Practice in Conversation (to Vimeo)

2018 sappho’s conversations (to Vimeo)

2015 The Moon Practice in Conversation (to Vimeo)

2015 The Sun Practice in Conversation (to Vimeo)